Pre-election 2008

The first time I've ever encountered my half naked neighbor was when I was exiting the garage and backing up into the street. He was kneeling down and staring at a fresh dent on his car. I waved and smiled. He smiled and didn't look so worried about his car. I noticed that he had a McCain-Palin campaign sign up on his clean mowed lawn. Two blocks down, there was a Yes on Prop 8 sign. Across the street, an Obama-Biden campaign sign occupied the lawn with a pile of dry leaves. My lawn, however, did not have any signs, but this did not mean that I had no political view. How come I still haven't made a decision of who I wanted for president at this critical point of the campaign?

The howling wind woke me up. It was three in the morning. I couldn't sleep anymore. I knew I had to make a decision. Obama or McCain? I feared that if McCain died, then Palin would take over. Who cares if America sees woman as equal. No foreign leaders are going to be able to comply any international affairs with a woman; no way was I going to vote for McCain. Obama's ties to terrorists suddenly sprange to the media. Both of them are against gay marriage. At four o'clock, I've finally decided that I couldn't vote for either one of them. I was not apathetic; I simply did not agree with their beliefs. I am skeptical of their claims to reform domestic policies and their bail out of the American debt. Mudslinging purely did not interest me. I want to know how they can lower gas prices, pull America out of the recession, reverse the declining economy, advance the educational system, lower loan interest rates, and contain the climate crisis. I don't care if you had dinner with a murderer. I don't care if you shook hands with a dictator. I don't care if you ran for Miss Blah Blah Blah and got second place.

I watched the Vice Presidential Candidates Debate because Sarah Palin was interesting. I enjoyed watching her struggle and mess up. She winked twice (Mr. James claims that she winked more than twice) on national television, called Senator Biden by his frst name, and gave a shout out. McCain is no maverick as she is no bulldog with lipstick. Stop the crap and on with the real stuff. Banning Harry Potter? Are you kidding me? Governor of thirty people and she thinks she can rule the country? Hah!

Obama is no good either. His talk of change for the waning economy had become "can you spare some change?"

Enough was enough. I got out of bed and got dressed. It was time to make a change. I left through the door that connected to the garage and out through another door into the alley. The crying wind muffled the creaking door and the crunchy leaves I carelessly stepped on.

The sun was still in hiding. I walked onto my next door neighbor's lawn and removed their McCain-Palin sign. I silently sprinted two doors down to remove a Yes on Prop 8 sign, and ran back across the street to my neighbor with the Obama-Biden tag and removed it from their lawn.

What was I suppose to do with those signs? My neighbor on the right was going to get a little surprise in the morning. I had posted all of them onto their lawn.

I went back to bed and fell asleep effortlessly. I dreamt that McCain had died and Palin surrendered without his assistance. Obama was kidnapped and Biden fell into depression because of the death of his mother-in-law. I got nominated, but I declined because I was too proud to be a U.S. President. I wanted to rule the world. If I was to be anything, it will be God.

But my hope of becoming God was cut short. A booming voice blasted across the street. I got out of bed and stared out the living room window. In one night, the friendly people on my block (more of an oval) had gotten into a political quarrel and World War III had begun. I wonder who will become president.